Elaine Buis

My mother’s eldest sister, Elaine Buis, has a good reputation within my father’s family. We are all thankful to her. My Aunt Barbara Hammond née Power, my father’s eldest sister, tells a story of when my maternal aunt, Elaine Buis, my mother, Verla Power, & my paternal aunt, Barbara, were all attractive young women in the 1970s. My mother Verla was newly married and hosting one of her first large dinner parties with my father Bertram (Bert) Power. As could be expected, my mother was overwhelmed preparing a large and elaborate party for one of the first times for many people all at once. My mother wanted to be a perfect hostess and was too proudly independent to ask for help. She tried to do everything herself and struggled. Her new sister-in-law, Barbara, recognised the situation. Barbara had hosted many dinner parties and understood the nature of the pressures. If you’ve ever hosted a party for eight or more, you’ll remember yourself the great effort and co-ordination you required if you tried to do it all alone. Barbara remembered the effort and co-ordination, and she mentioned what a good idea it would be for some of the younger women to step into the kitchen and join my mother. Everyone was having fun, and the women assured her that my mum could handle it. They were confident in her singular abilities. They went on laughing and chatting about their conversations while Barbara got up with a smile. She realised she was delighted. She realised she was going to get to spend precious time all alone with her new little sister-in-law if nobody else wanted to join them. The fun and help had shortly begun when the other big sister joined them in the kitchen. Elaine and Barbara were the only guests to join my mum and help her host one of her very first large dinner parties. They came to her rescue and had a wonderful time talking and getting to know each other in the kitchen that evening. My Auntie Barbara still talks about the fun the three of them had. First Impressions last a lifetime. Barbra felt lucky to be one of two big sister’s supporting my mother Verla to host a successful event. The success of the event was overwhelming for my mum, and I understand, because I needed my own big sister’s help when I hosted my own large dinner party for one of the very first times. Just like Elaine and Barbara helping my mum, my own big sister, Bridgette Collard née Power, stepped in to help me, Brent Power. It felt special for me to have my sister help me succeed, just like it felt special for my mum, Verla, to have Elaine and Barbara help her succeed. Not only did it feel special for my mum, but it also felt special for my Aunt Barbara, just like it probably felt special for my Aunt Elaine. It felt special for Barbara, because Barbara had always wanted to have sisters. She was excited because she and Elaine were both big sisters working together to help their own shared little sister. Barbara had grown up only ever knowing what it was like to have three brothers. She had never had a sister and she’d always wanted one. Now that her little brother Bert had married, she had Verla and Elaine, and the three of them were laughing, working, talking, and enjoying themselves in the kitchen, just like she had always wanted to do. For my whole life, Barbara has told me that Elaine was a strong and admirable woman. She came to that conclusion after getting to know Elaine in the kitchen and watching my Aunt Elaine go to work that night. Barbara loved what she got to know about Elaine and enjoyed their conversations. Barbara especially loved hearing about Elaine’s flock or herd or trip of goats on many different occasions, and she loved to see a strong woman doing strong work. Barbara was always in awe of Elaine’s farm and always remembered my Aunt Elaine as a strong and dutiful person. She remembered Elaine that way, because first impressions last a lifetime. Barbara remembers when Elaine alone answered the simple call of duty to help my mum in the kitchen when there was work to be done amidst the fun and enjoyment all around her. The story of my Aunt Elaine as a helpful and dutiful sister sits well with me and I’m grateful for it. Auntie Lane, you are remembered very kindly, and I will remember you very kindly when I write the story of my mother’s life. Her tragic brain disease forced her to have an interesting life, and it was a life that you played a role in as her only big sister. I’m glad that she had an admirable and dutiful older sister to guide and look out for her despite the difficult challenges God laid at her feet. Thank you Auntie Lane for being a good sister to my mother, and a good auntie to her children. Today, so suddenly after your death, I have too many of my own stories and memories to write them down and I’m overwhelmed by the realisation that you’re gone. I am still too shocked and surprised. I thought you would live forever and that we’d have forever to talk, so I didn’t pick up the phone and kept counting instead on the next Easter season. I’m sorry. Now, in 2015, I will observe Lent for the first time in my life, and I will do it in remembrance of you, wishing all the time that I had you to talk with about it. I hope it would make you happy. All of my love to my dear Uncle Jack Buis and my cousins John and Jacqueline. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your grief is shared by those of us around you.